Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
We need to get me chipped asap
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
