Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
