it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
