well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
