Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize