So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Enjoy the penises
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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