You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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