hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Is it because I queefed?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
