i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
