I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
So squirting runs in the family.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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