he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
