May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Randomize
