My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
