ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
