I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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