escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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