do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Randomize
