apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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