Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
