I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
