i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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