I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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