you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
