dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
