Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
