if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i just google imaged poop.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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