Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
