sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
