Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
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My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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