Are we in a gay sports bar?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Randomize
