We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
