I can feel you judging me through the phone.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Randomize
