i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
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