I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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