Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
