They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
