She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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