I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
How's work?
Spinning.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
