Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(631): View more from New York

Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.

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(714): View more from California

He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.

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(786): View more from Florida

I miss vodka workout Fridays

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(630): View more from Illinois

So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong

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(716): View more from New York

I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.

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(517): View more from Michigan

She just said, "are my livers going to die?"

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(404): View more from Georgia

That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you

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(870): View more from Arkansas

she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried

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