you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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