Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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