its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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