I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Randomize
