I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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