I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
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