I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Send help, water and tortillas.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
there is puke in my bra ... again
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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