dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
He called his prostate his "boner button".
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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