i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
