Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
