I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
