its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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