My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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