Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
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I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
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New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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