dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
