He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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