the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize