grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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