I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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