It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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