Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
