Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
