I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
