so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
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