making cat noises will not fix the situation.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
