I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
