Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
