he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I want to be your penis for a week.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
